hoganddice:

takethethirdoption:

I went to an Arab-American comedy night and there was a Muslim guy making a joke about being in high school football.

"I was hit so hard, I saw Jesus. Do you know how hard you have to be hit to see somebody else’s god?"

This is what jokes about religion are supposed to look like.

(via hornyoffline)

I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO GET NICE TATTOOS AND TRAVEL AND GO TO LOADS OF CONCERTS AND MEET NEW PEOPLE AND VISIT AMAZING PLACES AND COSY COFFEE SHOPS AND ADOPT CUTE PUPPIES AND SLEEP IN THE BACK OF A TRUCK WITH A PLETHORA OF BLANKETS AND STAR GAZE AND TAKE PICTURES OF NICE THINGS AND JUST NOT CARE ABOUT ANYTHING 

(Source: nirvna, via guy)

sarahsizzites:

snowpetrel:

i was babysitting a little boy and girl once and the boy asked me if i had a boyfriend and i said “no!! but i have a girlfriend!” and he said “like a friend thats a girl?” and i said “no like a boyfriend but they’re a girl instead of a boy! we still do couple things but we’re just both girls” and he said, without missing a beat, “oh ok! are you gonna marry her?”

like it’s literally that easy for kids to understand

Children > Adults

(Source: bunnyhug, via guy)

fat-lasts-longer-than-flavor:

cuadradonegro:

obscurewings:

I made a political cartoon for English class about issues in school
It focuses on how teens are expected to make career defining choices with barely any experience, and also how parents often take so much authority that their child’s decision is not actually their own
If this gets some notes then I’ll make a colored version

thank fucking you. this defines me a few years ago really accurately

this

fat-lasts-longer-than-flavor:

cuadradonegro:

obscurewings:

I made a political cartoon for English class about issues in school

It focuses on how teens are expected to make career defining choices with barely any experience, and also how parents often take so much authority that their child’s decision is not actually their own

If this gets some notes then I’ll make a colored version

thank fucking you. this defines me a few years ago really accurately

this

(via guy)

earthdad:

when someone really cute calls you cute first

image

(via departured)

sexynemo:

I want to dig my nails in your back as you kiss my neck

(via guy)