bettywhite4ever:

I wanna be hot enough to make people question their sexual orientation

(Source: andrewbelami, via guy)

3rd grade

friend: *whispering* if you're stupid say "what"
me: what
friend: OH MAN
OH
OH DEAR FUCKING CHRIST
I GOT YOU SO GOOD, THAT WAS AWESOME
SWEET, SWEET DICKS IN MY MOUTH. I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED THIS HARD. EVER.
JESUS. JESUS HELP ME.

weteevee:

parents when they can’t get a hold of you: “i called TWICE AND YOU DIDN’T PICK UP”

me when i can’t get a hold of my parents: “I BROKE MY LEG. I CALLED UR CELL 11 TIMES, UR WORK PHONE 7 TIMES, AND SENT YOU 23 TEXTS, AND NO RESPONSE”

my parents: “wow sorry i was busy”

(Source: flygoing, via guy)

wildeaboutoscar:

imaginedragons:

what real mens activists look like (see more here)

Just so you know, I love all of you.

(via psychopathic-homosexual)

crunchbuttsteak:

have you ever known somebody so shitty they completely ruin that first name for you?

(via psychopathic-homosexual)

jemmasimmns:

please don’t make people with depression feel guilty for their lack of interest in things or their inability to motivate themselves please and thank you goodbye 

(via psychopathic-homosexual)

slapmytitties:

What if instead of having sirens ambulances just played move bitch get out the way by ludacris

(via psychopathic-homosexual)

"People say that I’m brave
For not giving up
But the sad thing is
I gave up a long time ago
I’m just not dead yet"

c.k. (via we-dont-own-our-heavens)

(Source: abnormitea, via psychopathic-homosexual)